My family and I attend Northview Christian Life Church in Carmel, Indiana. We have attended there as a family for almost 3 years, and my wife has ties to it for almost 20 years. This has been the church where I have been awakened, been fed, and been the one to propel this very blog into action.
However, it goes even deeper than that. The worship leader, Matt Bays, is a person that I really can't say that there are too many people like him out there. A passionate singer and songwriter, I read his book, "The Blind Writer" last year, and it is one of those motivational books that again is a main reason why I am writing right here today.
Matt looks beyond the norms of religion and talks about his own experiences, the world around him, what he has been taught, what he believes, and the challenges we all face as budding Christians--he doesn't just settle for "as it is written", but looks beyond that and discusses things in a frank and entertaining manner that has hit home with me in many ways. However, even when I thought Matt was an inspiration to begin with, he raises the bar himself this weekend that again motivates me as a person, father, and Christian.
In our service, Matt stopped after several songs and shared his personal feelings that he had during the "Prayer Experience" we had during the reset campaign. While doing this, you could feel the raw emotion, the pain, the hope, the love. He broke down in discussing intimate details about his family, and I just sat there, listening intently, taking it all in.
It brought me to tears.
Now, it should be known that one of my biggest pet peeves about myself is that I don't show emotion very well. It's even translated to my oldest son who seems to be following in my footsteps of the non-emotion. Some may say that's just men in general, but I know my true heart, and things I know I should be feeling at certain times in terms of empathy, love, unconditionality, just aren't there. But it is moments like these, where Matt Bays--even though I have never even HAD a face to face conversation with him--shows me that my emotions are "coming along", and it's that kind of thing that keeps me positive that my heart is slowly turning to what it needs to be to really take these steps towards being one with God. I am not saying that a month from now you'll see me blubbering hysterically when a Hallmark commercial comes on or that if you tell me you've accomplished something that I will cross body block you with a hug, but I do know that the coldness and bitterness that armored my heart is starting to show some cracks, and that's all I ask for.
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