Am I worthy?

In today's day and age, it's no secret that the vast, vast majority of us have decreased self confidence, low self esteem in general, and oftentimes are fearful of failure. In the religious aspect, this also takes a toll on many...including me.

Why? Simple. Because if in our lives we don't feel confident around human beings who are indeed fallible and have endless amount of issues, why in the world would we ever feel ourselves worthy of God? He is the omnipresence, a benevolent figure, he sacrificed Jesus Christ so that we could live IN sin and could still be forgiven for them.

It's almost too hard to wrap your head around that someone of this magnitude could love me. Could accept me. Could take away all of my transgressions in the blink of an eye.

But he does. And that is something that I MUST absolutely start to believe day in and day out. I truly believe that a major barrier to my faith is that I simply don't feel good enough for God...broken...sometimes just "unworthy". Am I ashamed of some of the things that I have or have not done in my life? Of course I am--there's no one in this world that can claim otherwise. The difference is that I sometimes just think that it's a permanent black mark against me....envisioning a God that is angry, one that is vengeful.

But that is soooooooooooo not the case.

God loves me for me. Jesus gave his life for me. Wow...that's humbling even typing it out. But I have to believe it. I have to understand it. I have to appreciate it. Without that, my faith will be nothing but a glass roof. Sure, it may hold up under the naked eye, but eventually it WILL break...But it's not an easy task at all. I must "feel" this.

Do you ever get these feelings that God is just too big, too perfect, too overwhelming for you to feel worthy?